Humour | slowcatchupkuan

Posts Tagged With 'Humour'

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May the Force be With Yiuuuu

May the Force be With Yiuuuu

 
Did you read the news about the 7 year old boy who called 911 and saved the whole family from attackers? At the age of 7 he had the right mind to grab his sister and dialled 911 from the bathroom. That’s like wow!

I vaguely remember what i was like at 7. I didn’t even know what’s the emergency number back then. At that age, i only knew 799 2525 by heart. That’s for Pizza Hut delivery haha!

Remember the song “755 2525, 799 2525, 7992525, special delivery!”? Well, yeah i think i tried dialing that number to reach the police which really bugged the hell out of the operator.

Then when i’m 8 or 9 i think i dialled 999 just for the kicks of it. Ok, come on don’t judge me, i was young and seriously don’t tell me you haven’t made prank calls before. Seriously, no? Your childhood sucks :P.

By the way, the boyfriend sent me this yesterday. Really made my day.
 

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If you don’t get the joke then, congratulations you are not a geek.

If you get the joke then congratulations, you are very intelligent like me. May the force be with you :P.

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Weekend, forward i look. To Alice the Wonderland, i watch.
 
 

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I have a dream

 
Today mom dragged me out of bed at such an obscene hour. Needless to say i was cranky like a starved baboon. My bones, muscle and head hurt, obviously from last night’s Panadol. I’m really not a morning person. But i did sleepily brushed my teeth and got dressed all in the name of filial piety and because i can’t stand her intense nagging for another second… uhm… mostly the second.

Against my better judgment i had agreed to accompany her to some annual shareholder meeting. You know, those meetings where mostly retired old folks or unemployed, basically people with time to spare, goes to just to get some freebies or door gifts. But the thing is you never know what you’re gonna get till you are there. The last time i fell for mom’s trap, we drove all the way to KL to get a useless plastic clock with the name of the company stamped in huge letters across the face.

With such a ‘fun’ outing planned, i of course wouldn’t leave Mr. Bf out. *wakakaka!

So mom and both of us went there separately. I really must applaud Mr Bf’s patience because i was complaining the whole way, small tantrum thrown in to garnish. God help me, i was held against my will and i was tired and hungry too, ok.

But this made my day.

Mr. Bf: Psst… (in a whisper) i’ll tell you a secret.

Me: What?! What?

Mr. Bf: I have a dream.

Me: Huh???

Mr. Bf: Since i was a kid i had a dream… (grinning like a Cheshire Cat)

Me: What is it then?! Quick tell me.

Mr. Bf: I always wanted to be a ….. (pause for dramatic effect)

Me: Argh… and? (fingers ready to pinch his nipples less he tells me straight)
 
 

Then in a deadpan expression,
 
 
 
 

Mr. Bf: I always wanted to be a… mafia.
 
 

So let’s give Mr. Bf another round of applause. Yes! And again!

Whilst i’m typing this i’m trying very hard to balance the laptop while standing. I have to perform standing ovation in the honor of Malaysia’s very own Joker 2009 don’t i?
 
 

Psst: Do you want to know what we got from the meeting? 2 bags of plant fertilizer each. Wtf.
 
 

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Attempts At Lame Racist Jokes

 
Attempts to tell some lame but hillarious jokes to i-don’t-get-it people makes me want to pull out my hair!

Me: Hey, i can’t sleep… Entertain me. Tell me a joke.
KidCheng: Err… i donno any lar.
Me: EatAllYouCanShung told me a lot of stupid racist jokes he read from the net on the way back just now.
KidCheng: What jokes? Tell.
Me: I donno how to tell jokes wan. Sure become not funny. Everytime also i don’t remember parts of it.
KidCheng: Hahahaha that’s a joke.
Me: Huh?
KidCheng: You asked me to tell you a joke right? Then i ask you to tell me. Then you say you donno how to tell jokes. That’s a joke. So i tell you that it’s a joke. Meaning i just told you a joke just like what you asked me to do initially lor.
Me: -_-”

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Me: He told me few quite funny wan. But racist lar… but it’s just a joke lar.
KidCheng: What?
Me: Ok. Why are Indians not good at football?
BlurryHunniee: Who say Indians are bad at football???
KidCheng: Yalar. They really good wat. If not why so many of them playing football?
Me: Ei it’s just a joke la. For joke purpose la. Answer me la.
BlurryHunniee: Yalar. So not logic wat…
KidCheng: Yalar. They where got bad in football.
Me: Forget it lar. -_-”

(I ended up telling the whole joke but the response was…similarly lame-O, -_-”)
 
 

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