Conversation | slowcatchupkuan

Posts Tagged With 'conversation'

2

I have a dream

 
Today mom dragged me out of bed at such an obscene hour. Needless to say i was cranky like a starved baboon. My bones, muscle and head hurt, obviously from last night’s Panadol. I’m really not a morning person. But i did sleepily brushed my teeth and got dressed all in the name of filial piety and because i can’t stand her intense nagging for another second… uhm… mostly the second.

Against my better judgment i had agreed to accompany her to some annual shareholder meeting. You know, those meetings where mostly retired old folks or unemployed, basically people with time to spare, goes to just to get some freebies or door gifts. But the thing is you never know what you’re gonna get till you are there. The last time i fell for mom’s trap, we drove all the way to KL to get a useless plastic clock with the name of the company stamped in huge letters across the face.

With such a ‘fun’ outing planned, i of course wouldn’t leave Mr. Bf out. *wakakaka!

So mom and both of us went there separately. I really must applaud Mr Bf’s patience because i was complaining the whole way, small tantrum thrown in to garnish. God help me, i was held against my will and i was tired and hungry too, ok.

But this made my day.

Mr. Bf: Psst… (in a whisper) i’ll tell you a secret.

Me: What?! What?

Mr. Bf: I have a dream.

Me: Huh???

Mr. Bf: Since i was a kid i had a dream… (grinning like a Cheshire Cat)

Me: What is it then?! Quick tell me.

Mr. Bf: I always wanted to be a ….. (pause for dramatic effect)

Me: Argh… and? (fingers ready to pinch his nipples less he tells me straight)
 
 

Then in a deadpan expression,
 
 
 
 

Mr. Bf: I always wanted to be a… mafia.
 
 

So let’s give Mr. Bf another round of applause. Yes! And again!

Whilst i’m typing this i’m trying very hard to balance the laptop while standing. I have to perform standing ovation in the honor of Malaysia’s very own Joker 2009 don’t i?
 
 

Psst: Do you want to know what we got from the meeting? 2 bags of plant fertilizer each. Wtf.
 
 

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2

The Lack of Waistline

 
Someone once told me, if all human in this world were designed with a unique special ability, mine would be a dic head (as in dictionary head) coz i make up words that only i could understand.

Among the many nonsensical word i made up, ‘ewww’ is the word that i use almost everyday. No not ‘eww’ the word that is used to express disgust or grossness. Not ‘ewe’ which stands for a female sheep either. I mean ‘ewww’ with a triple W which stands for the the lack of waistline.

In Cantonese waist or waistline is referred to as ‘yiu’. So it only made sense to me only that the lack of waistline is called ‘ewww’ which has similar pronunciation as ‘yiu’ but when spoken one must emphasize on the triple Ws and express it with deep disgust.

For example i have this identical real life conversation with Mr. Bf almost every single day.
 

Me: I fat.
Mr. Bf: No lar.
Me: Getting fatter and fatter.
Mr. Bf: Where got. Still got ‘yiu’ (waist) wat…
Me: I don’t have ‘yiu’! I have ‘ewww’. Like tree trunk!

 

Sometimes i think Mr. Bf purposely say i have ‘yiu’ every single time i raise this subject just to spite me and make me say the word. He thinks it’s funny. I think… i’ll bite his head off.
 
 

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5

He’s Off To Singapore

 
man in mask
 

Mr. Bf: Tomorrow i go Singapore. Worried you lar.
Me: Ei, you go one day only ok!
Mr. Bf: Blek! B you sick ma. Me lomantic ler? Hehehehe
Me: Lomantic like kon lo mee without kicap.
Mr. Bf: At least make you full ma hahaha!
Me: Lomantic like bubur ayam tak cukup kicap.
Mr. Bf: We got bubur eat bubur, got me eat mee. Lagi lomantic haha!
Me: -_-” you lomantic like mangkuk tandas 10 tahun tak cuci ok!

Now back to bed. *sniff sniff cough cough ah choo!
 
 

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