Only In Malaysia | slowcatchupkuan - Part 4
2

Kantoi

 
This song is the funniest song i’ve ever heard. I was searching for “Bitter Heart” by the very adorable and talented Zee Avi and stumbled upon this cute song named “Kantoi” also by her. The song is about infidelity and it’s in pure manglish. LOL.
 


 

Semalam I call you, you tak answer.
You kata you keluar pergi dinner.
You kata you keluar dengan kawan you.
But when I called Tommy he said it wasn’t true.
 

So I drove my car pergi Damansara.
Tommy kata maybe you tengok bola.
Tapi bila I sampai you, you tak ada.
Lagilah I jadi gila.
 

So I called and called sampai you answer.
You kata sorry sayang tadi tak dengar.
My phone was on silent, I was at the gym.
Tapi latar belakang suara perempuan lain.
 

Sudahlah sayang, I don’t believe you.
I’ve always known your words were never true.
Why am I with you, I pun tak tahu.
No wonderlah my friends pun tak suka you.
 

So I guess that’s the end of our story.
Akhir kata she accepted his apology.
Tapi last last kita dapat tahu she was cheating too.
With her ex boyfriend’s best friend – Tommy.

 
 

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8

He Left To Save Lives But Risked His Own

 

He left to save lives but in the end he couldn’t even save his own…
- Mr Bf. -

 

Mr.Bf went back to Sitiawan to attend his cousin sister’s wedding yesterday night. So did one of his cousin’s friend who came all the way from Singapore. Apparently (i was informed via sms), the friend is a doctor and had to be back in Singapore for some medical emergency today. So he left earlier than planned; took an express bus back from Perak to Singapore.
 

Ten die, 19 injured in bus crash near Tangkak (Update)
By HAMDAN RAJA ABDULLAH
MUAR: A nine-year-old girl was among 10 people killed when their express bus skidded and crashed into a tree along the North-South Expressway near Tangkak.

Most of the passengers, some were going to Johor Baru and Singapore, and some returning from Perak, were asleep when the incident happened.

…. to read the rest of the news *CLICK HERE*

 

I’m not acquainted and haven’t even met the friend before but when i heard the tragic news i felt a pang of remorse. Poor Mr.Bf’s cousin is now in distress. I guess i would feel the sadness and guilt too if it was my wedding. Sigh… it’s just fate.

I hope the accident is not due to the bus driver’s reckless driving which most probably is. Why is there increasing number of bus accidents in Malaysia and nobody is doing anything effective to curb it??!

Whatever it is… let’s say our prayers and may he rest in peace…

I hope tonight i won’t have nightmares of bus over-turning. I think i just developed a complex of taking public transport especially express buses. I’ll never ride whatever buses to anywhere anymore.
 
 

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4

Revamping Public Toilets

 
If i become the prime minister the first thing i would do is to revamp all public toilets in malls. That’ll be the first thing on my agenda because i know for sure that after i put my toilet idea into action i’ll be so popular that i’ll be able to serve as the prime minister for years to come. The public will be so grateful that they’ll vote for me over the next 100 years if i ever live to see the day.

I would have separate toilets for those who use toilet papers and those who use the ‘air pili’/water hose to clean their bum or wash their feet or do whatever in the toilet cubicle that causes the toilet seats and the floor all wet and dirty. Water hose users will be prohibited from using papers user’s toilet.

Surely no one will disagree with this idea right? If you think of it, it’s a win-win situation. I mean, it doesn’t make sense for someone who will use the water hose eventually after doing their business to demand for a dry cubicle right? Surely they wouldn’t mind having an already wet cubicle (by the previous person) because he/she will also wet the floor later right? So i assume that those who uses the water hose will not sneak over to the dry toilet cubicles (designated for people who use toilet paper) hence the dry cubicle will remain dry.

And of course toilet paper users like myself would be happy and content when we go to the loo and find clean and dry cubicles and seats welcoming us.

You know, i can only do my business/poo in clean and DRY toilets. Yes, even if i’m having a massive stomachache about to suffer from diarrhea, i have to go at a clean and DRY toilet. Else, i just can’t do it. Period. No can do! My feet don’t agree with wet floors and my bum just doesn’t agree with dirty toilet seats. And i know i am not alone. So, this toilet thingy does indeed deserve top priorities.

To be on the safe side, i would have a special janitor placed at each mall’s public toilet in the country. The hired janitors are special because unlike any other janitors, they are not hired to clean. They are like school prefects. All they need to do is to guard the toilet designated for paper users. Every time a person is done using a cubicle, the special agent would jump into action; inspecting the cubicle. If it’s wet or if the seat is suspiciously dirty, (it pisses me off when i see shoe print on the seat! Wtf?!) the person who just used it would be spanked and then thrown into the cubicle to clean up after himself/herself.

Now tell me you’ll vote for me. I swear it’ll work.

Update: Omg, i just realized that the public toilets are actually separated… not separated, separated but separated as in there are cubicles that have water hoses and cubicles without them. I knew it all the time but forgot because i see no point since those with hose will eventually get wet and then will eventually wet all the other cubicles and the floor out site.

So, my toilet idea will still work. How come i only see one vote -_-”
 
 

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0

Wild Life Act Petition

 
Stumbled upon this article at Joyce‘s blog. It’s very sad.
 

“The Wild Life Act of Malaysia is extremely outdated and hasn’t been updated since 1972. Animals like the rhinoceros, malayan shrew, asian elephant and many many more are classified as critically endangered or close to it. View list here.

There are many outlines to the law that need to be updated. For instance you could be arrested for poaching and elephant. But you wouldn’t be punished for selling products with endangered animal product in them. Doesn’t make sense innit?

A petition is in order to collect 100,000 signatures so that change can happen. It’ll only take you one minute, please click *here* to sign the petition, and please post it on your blogs too.”

 


I cut n paste this photo becoz it’s such a sad piercing picture
 

It really doesn’t make sense. Does the outdated law make sense to you? If not please do your part.
 


 

I’m number 1330.

Wtf is the “why is your stomach fat?” doing there… wtf. So potong steam -_-”
 
 

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2

Shah Rukh Khan, Kejora, Melamine = Incompetance

 
I have so many complaints about the things going on in the country. Ridiculous, unimportant stuffs that makes me slap my forehead and go “Not another bull’s dropping!” after reading the newspaper and then laugh hysterically.

First it’s Shah Rukh Khan getting Datukship, now it’s changing Jalan Alor into Jalan Kejora. Man, these people have too much idle time on their hands.

I gotta give it to them for initiative lor. Rather than swatting flies or digging their noses, i guess they got together for a Bollywood popcorn night out and were in awe with Shah Rukh Khan’s acting. And instead of scratching their bums and staring into space with nothing else to do, i guess they got together and thought of ideas on how to destroy the countries beautiful road names by changing it into fugly names nobody knows the meaning to it anyways lor. It’s a great way to kill time. Highly recommended.

First of all i think i deserve a Datukship more than Shah Rukh Khan. Read my post on Melaka… and Penang. See, i promoted 2 places in Malaysia instead of one. You’ve got to admit it right? My post about Melaka is better than a stint in the Melaka golf course right? At least i mentioned the name of the state many, many times in my post. Hmm… maybe if i drive to Melaka today, get a shot of the golf course and post the photo on my blog, i would qualify to be a Datuk… yeah, definitely a big maybe… *wakaka!

And about DBKL changing Jalan Alor into Jalan Kejora. Wtf lor. What does changing road names into star names have got to do to revamping the place? Nothing! I like Jalan Alor the way it is. Why change it? They’re killing history and the country’s travel industry lor. It took so many years for Jalan Alor to become so famous among locals and tourist, now they erased it just like that.

Where’s the petition? I want to sign.

You know my street is named Jalan Chiak Padang. How fugly is that? First requirement of getting a job in DBKL: Bad taste.

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I’ve been craving for dairy products just as soon as there are news that some dairy products might contain high level of melamine in Malaysia. So, i did not dare to consume any dairy products from any brands just to be safe.

You know what, KidCheng checked the Ministry of Health‘s website and found a list of products that are risky. And you know what? Most of those products are still on the shelves of supermarkets and even 7-eleven. There are even advertisements on TV.

Why aren’t those being recalled? It’s confusing that’s what it is. Somebody should do something or else i would have to print the list every few days before grocery shopping. Ridiculous ler.
 
 

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4

Getting Scammed or Not

 
Another RM10 down the drain.
 


 

It bugs me (alot) that there are people going around eateries or makan places holding a card or booklet or stationeries, asking for money. I may sound heartless but that’s the truth. Sometimes they just pisses me off. Worst still is there are times when the people asking for donations haul along a handicapped person so those enjoying their meals will either feel sympathetic or uncomfortable so they have no choice but to hand over some money just to get rid of them or like me get rid of the guilt.

I recall that RM5 used to be the conventional minimum but RM5 just doesn’t do it nowadays. The minimum is RM10 because now the stationeries or stickers or even tissues are priced at RM10 each.

It would be fine if i knew that my money goes to the right place where it would actually help unfortunate people. But with all the scams and fraud going around, i have my suspicion which i’m almost positively sure they are frauds lar. Where got so many organizations going around asking for money ler.

Whatever it is (scam or no scam) i find it really annoying coz the guilt of not giving money scares the hell out of me how they approach people asking for donation and wouldn’t bugger off especially while i’m eating. I mean like, maybe they think it’s good timing since we have our hands full and mouth stuffed with food that we can’t protest.

Yesterday i was approached at the bookstore which is a first for me…. in a bookstore. I thought she was going to ask for direction or something. However before i could duck for cover and run for my life (coz i was too engrossed with Scott Adams’s hilarious book to have noticed the tell tale sign of her holding car stickers and a green file filled with information how i could eat grass for the rest of the week so i could help some stranger) she quickly launched into a long monotonous speech on the topic of spastic cerebral palsy and how i could do my part to help. God help me.

It’s ingenious actually asking for donations in a bookstore. I assume majority of people who go to bookstores actually likes to read or at least likes to pretend that they like to read. And i deduct that people who like to read are less prone to reject a donation request rather than people who do not read. And people who pretend that they read feels more morally inclined to donate so they feel that they belong to a higher class of society. Plus how big is a bookstore. You can’t run away that easily. That means a higher chance of raking in the funds. Don’t argue with my theory. I’m still gonna think that i’m right.

Anyways, apparently RM10 could help 1 spastic kid. After she finished with her rehearsed speech and she said “So… how many kids do you want to save today?” i almost choked. I nudged Mr. Bf and he reluctantly hand over a RM10. I hope the girls genuine, not a fraud. Hey, we love helping people but how many could we help right?

Let’s calculate based on true life experience.

Let’s only take into account of one meal a day instead of 3 (only dinner minus breakfast and lunch).

We sometimes dine out during weekdays but usually on weekends. So lets not take weekdays into account.

Each time we eat out (not in those classy restaurant or malls lar) we would surely encounter people asking for donations. So that’s RM10 twice a week making it RM20.

If i were to give RM10 for donations each weekend means it would amount to RM80 (RM20 x 4) per month.

How much of these RM80 is going to real genuine organization for people in need and how many are the money actually going to a scam syndicate? I would never know.

This is what pisses me off. I get utterly annoyed and disturbed by people practically begging for money and have a nasty guilt trip only to end up wondering whether my money goes to the spastic kid needing a surgery or to the filthy rich pirated-DVD mogul part-timing as a child trafficker.
 


 

Here’s an idea. Do it like the WWF. Let people choose if they sincerely want to donate by signing up for credit card deductions each month. I would happily sign up. Or better still why can’t everyone with a certain income level get taxed for charity. I mean charge a small amount for genuine organization of their choice (be it for orphanage or spca or spastic kids or whatever) in the yearly income tax. Then everyone is compelled to give and each organization get’s their share. Of course we will curse and complain when we pay tax but we are already complaining so what the heck.

Of course we won’t be sure that our money goes completely to the organizations with so many corrupt officials in our country but still… at least the needy gets a portion of it…. er… nope. Let’s roll back to the WWF idea.

Oh, what the hell. Anything, as long as i don’t get approached by scammers asking for donations again. Spare me the guilt trip please!
 
 

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4

Do I Look Like A Pervert Magnet? Wtf.

 
Honestly, do i look like a pervert magnet or something?
 

good morning
God, i just realized i have a ‘thing’ for camwhoring in the car. Hmmm…
 

I seriously don’t think so. I’m sure lotsa babes out there deserve the title of Pervert Magnet more than me. Wtf.

Yesterday i just hit a new record. Case no. 6 or Beware of Perverts.

I swear if i see another pervert jacking off in my face (wtf why does it sound so wrong. no pun intended)… i mean in front of me, i’ll have a chopper ready and chase him all the way to Iceland if i need to. We’ll see who’s the last one laughing without a peni5.
 
 

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