Timid is a word many often used to describe me. Am i really that timid? I don’t know… I don’t think so.

I despise being associated with that word. To me it’s just a polite way of saying i’m a coward (keng sei).

It is just certain people intimidates me. I look up to people who have the sheer confidence in whatever they do, where ever they are, in whatever they choose to wear. To me these people are the superheroes. I sure wish my i have such self confidence on my existence on earth. They intimidate the hell out of me yet i praise the ground they walk on. To these people i am in awe and shy. Definitely not timid.

I wallow in self pity all the time. That’s because i am a microscopic plankton surviving (or should i say trying to survive) on thos universe. I get sad and depress watching documentaries and reading the news. That’s because i’m a sadistic bipolar.  I also hate being with people i barely know. I suffer from insomnia in anticipation of meeting up with these people (please kill me now). But that also doesn’t mean i’m timid. It just makes me a potential paranoid psycho.

Ok i try to avoid confrontation all the time but that doesn’t mean i’m a scardy cat! On contrare, i do so because most of the time it’s pointless so i rather use my precious energy doing something that actually counts. I mean why burn all the brain juice and shorten my life span fussing over something that you know you can’t blardy change.

So am i timid? Perhaps just a little timid and a lot more depressive.