2008 November 02 | slowcatchupkuan

Archive for November 2nd, 2008

4

Revamping Public Toilets

 
If i become the prime minister the first thing i would do is to revamp all public toilets in malls. That’ll be the first thing on my agenda because i know for sure that after i put my toilet idea into action i’ll be so popular that i’ll be able to serve as the prime minister for years to come. The public will be so grateful that they’ll vote for me over the next 100 years if i ever live to see the day.

I would have separate toilets for those who use toilet papers and those who use the ‘air pili’/water hose to clean their bum or wash their feet or do whatever in the toilet cubicle that causes the toilet seats and the floor all wet and dirty. Water hose users will be prohibited from using papers user’s toilet.

Surely no one will disagree with this idea right? If you think of it, it’s a win-win situation. I mean, it doesn’t make sense for someone who will use the water hose eventually after doing their business to demand for a dry cubicle right? Surely they wouldn’t mind having an already wet cubicle (by the previous person) because he/she will also wet the floor later right? So i assume that those who uses the water hose will not sneak over to the dry toilet cubicles (designated for people who use toilet paper) hence the dry cubicle will remain dry.

And of course toilet paper users like myself would be happy and content when we go to the loo and find clean and dry cubicles and seats welcoming us.

You know, i can only do my business/poo in clean and DRY toilets. Yes, even if i’m having a massive stomachache about to suffer from diarrhea, i have to go at a clean and DRY toilet. Else, i just can’t do it. Period. No can do! My feet don’t agree with wet floors and my bum just doesn’t agree with dirty toilet seats. And i know i am not alone. So, this toilet thingy does indeed deserve top priorities.

To be on the safe side, i would have a special janitor placed at each mall’s public toilet in the country. The hired janitors are special because unlike any other janitors, they are not hired to clean. They are like school prefects. All they need to do is to guard the toilet designated for paper users. Every time a person is done using a cubicle, the special agent would jump into action; inspecting the cubicle. If it’s wet or if the seat is suspiciously dirty, (it pisses me off when i see shoe print on the seat! Wtf?!) the person who just used it would be spanked and then thrown into the cubicle to clean up after himself/herself.

Now tell me you’ll vote for me. I swear it’ll work.

Update: Omg, i just realized that the public toilets are actually separated… not separated, separated but separated as in there are cubicles that have water hoses and cubicles without them. I knew it all the time but forgot because i see no point since those with hose will eventually get wet and then will eventually wet all the other cubicles and the floor out site.

So, my toilet idea will still work. How come i only see one vote -_-”
 
 

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Britney Skin-delicious

 
Britney Spears is back. Erm… yay???

Not that i ever liked Britney Spears lar. I find the way her tongue flick excessively when she sings a bit strange and disturbing. It makes her singing sounds not so hardcore but still a little porn-ish. If you don’t understand about my Britney Spears and porn-ism association theory then you must be a Britney fan. But then again i might be wrong; you might be a Britney fan just because she sounds like a porn star. Well, either way good for you.

However much i think she is not really so talented in the singing department and however much i think she’s a stupid turd for all of her career suicidal acts (drunk driving, car bashing, the not wearing underwear fiasco and top of the list: marrying Kevin Federline), i do feel sorry for her.

People are just not so forgiving and not so kind to celebrities messing up. Ok, i laughed so hard watching her disastrous appearance in last year’s MTV Music Award, i felt disgusted.

But hey, i think she did good. Her come back video “Womanizer” still exude porn-ism but look her toned down body. That i envy.

Malaysians will definitely get the censored version obviously because we are “holy” hypocrites. When the video reaches our shores we’ll definitely be missing some skin. For comparison between the uncensored and censored director’s cut, watch this video.
 


 

The quality is bad and the screen is small. It’s pathetic. Better enjoy the full screen uncensored version *>HERE*.
 
 

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