2008 September | slowcatchupkuan

Archive for September, 2008

5

Questions About Birds Droppings

 
I have never seen so many black crows in my entire life. It’s creepy. It’s like invasion of the crows or something. God there are so many crows on the trees, i got the feeling that they were sending a message to us humans. Like a warning that they will over-populate us soon.

A shot of rifle sent the massive flock of crows scattering into the night sky, towards the food court like it was time for a grand feast. In an instant the floor was canopied with white-ish stain with a hint of olive green. Crow droppings everywhere. O.o
 


 

While i was lucky enough to have dodged the poo bombing, Mr. Bf did not. I suspect it is because i have Shaolin blood in my veins. You won’t believe it if i told you i can crouch like a tiger and hide like a dragon right? But i do. I can even dodge bullets so birds droppings are easy peasy… erm maybe not but i can laugh like a hyena.

I tried hard to stifle my hyena laugh when i saw Mr. Bf’s toes drenched in crow shit. *muahahaha!

At times like this, few questions crept into my mind.

How can birds poo while they are flying? I would like to learn so i won’t suffer from constipation ever again.

Why do birds poo while they are flying? A sick fetish maybe.

Why do bird droppings never fail at aiming at human? To pay revenge to human kind maybe.

Does laughing at your partner’s unfortunate luck for getting birds droppings on their toes kills the relationship? I hope not.
 
 

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4

Getting Scammed or Not

 
Another RM10 down the drain.
 


 

It bugs me (alot) that there are people going around eateries or makan places holding a card or booklet or stationeries, asking for money. I may sound heartless but that’s the truth. Sometimes they just pisses me off. Worst still is there are times when the people asking for donations haul along a handicapped person so those enjoying their meals will either feel sympathetic or uncomfortable so they have no choice but to hand over some money just to get rid of them or like me get rid of the guilt.

I recall that RM5 used to be the conventional minimum but RM5 just doesn’t do it nowadays. The minimum is RM10 because now the stationeries or stickers or even tissues are priced at RM10 each.

It would be fine if i knew that my money goes to the right place where it would actually help unfortunate people. But with all the scams and fraud going around, i have my suspicion which i’m almost positively sure they are frauds lar. Where got so many organizations going around asking for money ler.

Whatever it is (scam or no scam) i find it really annoying coz the guilt of not giving money scares the hell out of me how they approach people asking for donation and wouldn’t bugger off especially while i’m eating. I mean like, maybe they think it’s good timing since we have our hands full and mouth stuffed with food that we can’t protest.

Yesterday i was approached at the bookstore which is a first for me…. in a bookstore. I thought she was going to ask for direction or something. However before i could duck for cover and run for my life (coz i was too engrossed with Scott Adams’s hilarious book to have noticed the tell tale sign of her holding car stickers and a green file filled with information how i could eat grass for the rest of the week so i could help some stranger) she quickly launched into a long monotonous speech on the topic of spastic cerebral palsy and how i could do my part to help. God help me.

It’s ingenious actually asking for donations in a bookstore. I assume majority of people who go to bookstores actually likes to read or at least likes to pretend that they like to read. And i deduct that people who like to read are less prone to reject a donation request rather than people who do not read. And people who pretend that they read feels more morally inclined to donate so they feel that they belong to a higher class of society. Plus how big is a bookstore. You can’t run away that easily. That means a higher chance of raking in the funds. Don’t argue with my theory. I’m still gonna think that i’m right.

Anyways, apparently RM10 could help 1 spastic kid. After she finished with her rehearsed speech and she said “So… how many kids do you want to save today?” i almost choked. I nudged Mr. Bf and he reluctantly hand over a RM10. I hope the girls genuine, not a fraud. Hey, we love helping people but how many could we help right?

Let’s calculate based on true life experience.

Let’s only take into account of one meal a day instead of 3 (only dinner minus breakfast and lunch).

We sometimes dine out during weekdays but usually on weekends. So lets not take weekdays into account.

Each time we eat out (not in those classy restaurant or malls lar) we would surely encounter people asking for donations. So that’s RM10 twice a week making it RM20.

If i were to give RM10 for donations each weekend means it would amount to RM80 (RM20 x 4) per month.

How much of these RM80 is going to real genuine organization for people in need and how many are the money actually going to a scam syndicate? I would never know.

This is what pisses me off. I get utterly annoyed and disturbed by people practically begging for money and have a nasty guilt trip only to end up wondering whether my money goes to the spastic kid needing a surgery or to the filthy rich pirated-DVD mogul part-timing as a child trafficker.
 


 

Here’s an idea. Do it like the WWF. Let people choose if they sincerely want to donate by signing up for credit card deductions each month. I would happily sign up. Or better still why can’t everyone with a certain income level get taxed for charity. I mean charge a small amount for genuine organization of their choice (be it for orphanage or spca or spastic kids or whatever) in the yearly income tax. Then everyone is compelled to give and each organization get’s their share. Of course we will curse and complain when we pay tax but we are already complaining so what the heck.

Of course we won’t be sure that our money goes completely to the organizations with so many corrupt officials in our country but still… at least the needy gets a portion of it…. er… nope. Let’s roll back to the WWF idea.

Oh, what the hell. Anything, as long as i don’t get approached by scammers asking for donations again. Spare me the guilt trip please!
 
 

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4

Do I Look Like A Pervert Magnet? Wtf.

 
Honestly, do i look like a pervert magnet or something?
 

good morning
God, i just realized i have a ‘thing’ for camwhoring in the car. Hmmm…
 

I seriously don’t think so. I’m sure lotsa babes out there deserve the title of Pervert Magnet more than me. Wtf.

Yesterday i just hit a new record. Case no. 6 or Beware of Perverts.

I swear if i see another pervert jacking off in my face (wtf why does it sound so wrong. no pun intended)… i mean in front of me, i’ll have a chopper ready and chase him all the way to Iceland if i need to. We’ll see who’s the last one laughing without a peni5.
 
 

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2

Jazzy Joanna Wang

 
My latest fixation. Joanna Wang.

I don’t listen to Chinese songs often. 1) because i’m a banana so my Chinese is limited, 2) because the quality isn’t as good compared to English songs although i suspect i think so because i’m a banana. So i guess it’s only 1).

Joanna Wang’s jazzy voice paired with timeless melody is like icing on the cake. Good listen on a raining day or a night drive.

Ok, ok. I admit i don’t really like her Chinese songs. She reminds me of Sammi Cheng when she sings in Chinese. But she still rocks.
 

CLICK TO PLAY
 

Let’s Start From Here-Joanna Wang

Giving up, why should I

I’ve come too far to forget
We’re beautiful, we just got lost

Somewhere along the way
So much was missing when you went away
Let’s start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don′t need a finish line
Let’s take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn′t seem to keep
I don’t care where we go
Let’s start from here

Standing here face to face
A finger on your lips
Don’t say a word don’t make a sound
Silence surrounds us now
Even when you were gone I felt you everywhere
Let’ start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don′t need a finish line
Let’s take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn′t seem to keep
I don’t care where we go
Let’s start from here
Let’s start from here

I’ve never been the one to open up
But you’ve always been the voive within
The only warmth from my cold heart
Let’s start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don’t need a finish line
Let’s take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises
Let’s start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don’t need a finish line
Let’s take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn’t seem to keep
I don’t care where we go
Let’s start from here
Let’s start from here
Let’s start from here
Let’s start from here

 
 

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5

Sad Movie Makes Me Cry

 
I cry so easily watching sad movies.

I don’t used to be like that. I used to have a heart of stone.

Now it’s just a puddle of tears.
 
 

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0

Attention Deficit

 
My blog hit 1 year old on the 28th August 2008. That’s last month god dammit! And all i managed to write is this.
 

“Looks like i’ve (my blog) have come to a full circle. I can’t believe that i’ve been blogging for a whole year already. Happy 1 year birthday dear blog! *throw confetti!

You know when i started blogging…”

 

I swear i have attention deficit disorder. It’s like whenever i start to do something, i’ll only manage to concentrate on it for like 10 mins max. I desperately need help… That explains why most of my blog post is like so short. It’s like if i were to write a long, long post it’ll take like a few days to compose. That’s like 400 words done in a few days. Like wtf right? And like how this post is going to cost me few blardy days to write. And like why am i sounding so bimbo-istic now. Like wtf…

I’m going to continue with my belated birthday post now. I need coffee. Kaw-kaw that type.
 
 

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2

Men Are Easy Peasy

 
Why is it that men find it hilariously entertaining when females accidentally or non accidentally perform a gross act like farting or dropping a nuclear bomb in the toilet? Do men find it equally amusing when they themselves are doing it? Do they find it funny when they fart or it’s only funny because it annoys the hell out of women?

I wish i was that easily amused.
 
 

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