2008 May | slowcatchupkuan

Archive for May, 2008

She’s a Terrorist

She gets whatever she wants.

She throws aggressive tantrums when things don’t go her way.

Kids are afraid of her.

Men and women are wary of her.

Dogs and pups run away from her with their tails tucked in.

She terrorize the Kepong Baru playground.

But…

She’s afraid of cats… and… dogs. -_-”

Cheating On You or Just Plain Distasteful?

Mr. Bf have a stash of 18-SX aka porn stuff he enjoys every once in a while. Actually it’s stashed in one of the folder in his C drive that he ~~hopes~~ thinks i couldn’t or wouldn’t find. *B, sorry i made you sound like a pervert :S. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and i couldn’t care less what porn he’s watching but my hand was feeling somewhat itchy last night. I checked out some of the stuff he downloaded ~~diligently~~ from the web. I was horrified… uhm… more like geli-fied (squeamish) actually.

He came into the room and caught me red handed. Oops!

Embarrassed, he hid under his blanky while i pretended to be darn disgusted and laughed at how distasteful he is. *damn i love torturing him. Then he did what most men would have done in this kinda situation.

.
.
.

He launched into a speech on how females are all the same when it comes to porn.

Me: Don’t come near me!
Bf: Girls are all the same. Guys really shouldn’t let them find it or else there’ll be trouble.
Me: Where got wor. I just think it’s so geli!
Bf: Girls always like very ‘gempak’ when find out their bf got porn hahaha. All guys watch it lar. Not like we’re perverts or what.
Me: I know. But so no taste lar the clips!
Bf: I don’t get why some girls like so horrified when found out their bf watch porn. They think their bf so holly molly meh.
Me: Muahahahahahahahahaha!

Here’s the thing. I don’t think it’s wrong watching those stuff but i think most porns are distastefully executed. It’s pretty vulgar and not classy at all. That’s according to me, a female.

I do know a handful of girls who went/would go berserk and anxious when/if they found a Playboy or Penthouse or whatever else the boyfriend had locked up in his treasure trunk of manhood. They went/will go “Oh my god!! He’s a pervert!” or “He’s cheating on me that no good son of a b*tch!“. Are you one of those naive ones?

Guys should really keep it locked up somewhere safe. When the girlfriend find out about your precious booty, the worst is they’ll think you’re cheating. Or if she’s like me she’ll probably see you in a different light and have fun torturing you with it.

Right now i’m thinking “I always thought i have good taste so i picked a boyfriend whom i think also have similar and exceptional taste in things… but how come Mr. Bf turned out to have so bad taste geh??“)

Muahahahaha!

Tips for Blogging… Liars

You know, i’ve heard so many bloggers constantly crying over their lack of blog traffic. I’ve also read quite a number of blog post on on how to increase traffic. Join blogging community, leave comments on other blogs, write 3 pillar post in a week, digg your post, innit your post, stumble your post… yadda yadda yadda.

Does it really works? I’ve tried almost all of them but it only works to a certain extend. Yeah, maybe you’ll have a traffic spike for that week… if you’re lucky. After that, then what?

Poor content will just get you that far. I should know. I’m da Queen. My traffic is so stagnant it’s depressing. It’s either i sux at blogging or i’m clueless and just lost. I heard someone say it’s the first. *wakakaka… -_-”! Ok, i sux but you’re worst alright.

I’ve recently read in the newspaper few days ago that nicolekiss is organising a sponsored trip to Thailand for bloggers with 1,000++ hits per day. I went O.o. 1,000++?!! It involves some of the top bloggers in our country. There goes my chance again.

How in the world can you get 1k plus readers per day? It’s all about contents… and what you’re willing to do for the sake of blogging.

So, have you

1) Drink snake blood and swallow live snake heart
2) Backpack across South East Asia
3) Obnoxiously vocal on politics and every other god damn thing under the sun.
4) Organize wriggly insects and worm cookout
5) Join beauty/modeling contest

No? Start already.

Hold on a minute, i need to practice my sword-swallowing stunt. It might generate more traffic to my blog.

Catch ya later, alligator.

Count How Many F*ck Are There

Note: There’ll be cursing involved. Kids please go away.

What the hell happened to Tin Tin?! He’s all vulgar and filthy here *wakaka!

Count how many farking F words is there, in this farking 2.21 minutes of farking dubbing… If you can farking understand the farking accent that is… i mean like, can you actually farking understand a word he says except for the farking F word?! Fark.

Why Lar Got Aliens in Indiana Jones? -_-"

Indie indie indie. What should i say about the new episode of Indiana Jones (Kingdom Of The Crystal Skulls). It’s a big disappointment with a capital D… and a big NO. To think that i skipped dinner just to watched it…

Many blame it on Harrison Ford saying he’s too old to run around dodging traps and fighting villains. Many say he looks like a fumbling buffoon in the new episode but i disagree. Indiana Jones was always like that. He’s never graceful archeologist to start with. Indie doesn’t plans ahead and he leaves wreckage and chaos wherever he goes. Ok, he’s a bit scruffy now but that’s beside the point.

The movie is a flop because it’s guilty of a having NO plot, poor video editing and exaggerated scenes. The story is like a NO-story at all. All i saw was Indie and his kid (Shia LeBeouf – he’s great. i think he’s the next big thing) mad racing from one place to another. There’s NO mystery. NO great adventure except for some small hiccups here and there. Also, there NO character development but darn lots of loop holes in the movie. We don’t know much about the woman villain except that she speaks funny and is ~~crazy~~ obsessed with anything psychic. We don’t know much about Indie’s son except that he’s his father’s son. Actually we don’t know much about anybody in the movie.

The scenes are so exaggerated and messy it gave the impression that film was poorly pieced together. Hey, what’s with the Tarzan scene – Indie Jr. swinging like a Tarzan??!! Why lar got nukes in the movies and aliens in Amazon (ala ala Machu Picchu)?! Did George Lucas ran out of any good ideas for a story? NO? Maybe Steven Spielberg still can’t get over E.T. Unbelievable.

Now you get why it’s a big NO? Unless you’re an Indie fan like me, you might not want to watch this.

Arghhhh…. i still can’t get over the Tarzan and aliens scene…

Busy busy

Indiana Jones, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls turned out to be such a disappointment.After so much excitement over the new episode it was such an anti-climax. But that story is for later.

Now i’ve got to take Kobe to the vet for another injection. She might have scabbies (mange). Poor Kobe. She’s just like me. Always sick.