Dear BlurryHunniee… in fact… dear ‘kind and tolerable’ hostess all around the world,

First of all i would like to thank all of you for having me every month without fail even though i know it is ever so difficult. I am not an easy guest to deal with i know. If given a chance i would not trouble you at all and leave you alone for eternity but hell no i can’t. Why? Coz God entrusted me with a mission. A mission so great that will determine the future of mankind. I am to grant fertility to all female on the planet… that and because i am really getting to like visiting you too much. So get that in your tiny head already. It’s not about you. It’s about the future generation you selfish b***h.

Eventhough you loathe me and had since condemned me to hell for the hundredth and thousandth time by now, i forgive you coz i am a forgiving person and i love leaving you in misery every single month. Stop complaining that i give you headache, bloating, water retention and whatever nonsense you can think of. Don’t blame me for your own lack of exercise and unhealthy life style.

Like any other ‘yee ma’ (aunty), i can’t stand watching you jam your arteries with grease and oil and expending the size of your posterior on the couch eating popcorn, caramel to top. I’m really tired of visiting you every month, playing the cleaning lady. So, i make you suffer and learn. If you’re still complaining, means you are a slow learner and not because i’m a psycho who likes to make you unhappy and have leg cramp… eventhough i do enjoy it watching your stupid pained face. And oh… you retain water coz you don’t bother to sweat it out. It’s not my fault that you’re lazy.

I can leave you dry (puns intended) and ‘cut’ you out from my monthly visits but then you’ll be begging me coz you miss me. Don’t deny it. Trust me you will miss me. Afterall, we are blood related (pun also intended). So behave yourself and be grateful that you’re still worthy of my visit.

Ps:// I’m sorry i’m late. Old lady like me can’t walk too fast.

Sincerely,
Your Tai Yee Ma (Your aunty)